It's on like CHB to bad hair. Dice goes 7, 1R, 8Ks Curts Pitch Boston is out 1800 on opening day!
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3/25 vs Oakland, trains leaving the station...
Started by
Gehrig38
, Mar 24 2008 05:43 PM
1609 replies to this topic
#2
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- 2,316 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 05:44 PM
It's on like CHB to bad hair. Dice goes 7, 1R, 8Ks Curts Pitch Boston is out 1800 on opening day!
You did it mazel tov! We were counting on you!
#3
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- 1,135 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 05:44 PM
It's on like CHB to bad hair. Dice goes 7, 1R, 8Ks Curts Pitch Boston is out 1800 on opening day!
Now I am officially ready for baseball.
#5
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- 1,227 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 05:56 PM
Now this is the Game Thread. The Defense begins.
Dice-K is going to be so up for this, that it will be a pleasure to watch.
It is so on bitches.
Dice-K is going to be so up for this, that it will be a pleasure to watch.
It is so on bitches.
#8
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- 10,878 posts
Earl of Acie
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:13 PM
3/25/08--Same (Expletive), Different Year
It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.
1. There is a tendency on these days of pomp and pageantry for self-important scribes to exaggerate the significance of human events. It is this inclination that leads inevitably to the endless march of picayune prose that marks any occasion of note. Even worse, it can lead to alliteration. From inaugurations, to opening days, to graduations, the spirit of the story is the same year after year and too often the words are as well.
Jose began to write this KEY last night with the declaration, thrice repeated “Thank God for baseball.” After getting stuck in a clumsy metaphor of desert and oasis, Jose turned to the opening day KEYS from last year in search of inspiration and there he found it.
“Thank God for Opening Day."
It was a striking rebuke to his sense of himself as an original, as a one of a kind. Simply replacing a comparison between himself and a heroin addict with a vague reference to Battlestar Galactica (note: so say we all), was not enough to sooth his soul. The introduction would have to go and with it Jose’s smug certainty of his own cleverness. This has all happened before, it will all happen again. (Note: There’s the Battlestar reference. See what Jose is reduced to when there is no baseball on—James Edward Olmos. Not good.)
Now into his fifth year of writing, Jose is as much a hack as any beat writer or world-weary columnist. He is just as prone to tired gimmicks and weary metaphors.
And does the Red Sox historic trek to Japan provide relief? Only in the sense that Ken Ryan provided relief in 1995. Rather, the significance of the occasion simultaneously raises the stakes and opens new, trap doors of cliché and ponderousness.
The Red Sox are in Japan? Why not write about sushi? Or sumo? Or bowing? Or karaoke? Or sex with space octopi?
Why wouldn’t Jose suggest that it is curious that 156 years after Commodore Matthew Perry opened Japan, Japan is opening the American League. (Note: With the obligatory quip that opening Japan and staring in Friends makes the Commodore versatile indeed.)
Why wouldn’t Jose imply that the Oakland A’s may already be operating under Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution, which expressly bans going on offense?
Why wouldn’t Jose quip that the reason Bartolo Colon didn’t go on the trip is that he heard the country is run by The Diet?
Why indeed?
This is opening day of the baseball season. Today, the records are all 0-0. Today Kevin Cash is batting the same as David Ortiz. (Note: Check that, Kevin Cash actually starts the season batting -.162) Today, everyone is in first place. Today, everyone gets a fresh start. And that includes Jose. Maybe he’ll run out old stories and reuse obsolete nicknames because this is spring training and everything old is new again… except for Curt Euro… and Tim Wakefield…and Mike Lowell… and… well, Ellsbury’s new.
2. In the absence of baseball for the last few months, Jose has been paying attention to politics. On the one hand, this is a bad thing, because it turns out, Jose hates you. Your beliefs are wrong, your candidate’s tactics are vile and if your champion is elected (s)he will most likely destroy America, except for Florida, which even in the absence of 49 other states would still somehow get a massive federal bailout.
On the other hand, it is a good thing, because it has convinced Jose that there is a baseball related excuse for pretty much every gaff made on the campaign trail with the exception of Gerald Ford’s 1976 claim that Poland was not under Soviet domination. The only baseball-related explanation for that would be if he took a fastball in the ear sometime during the campaign.
Consider one recent example. When Dr. Samantha Power, an Obama foreign policy advisor got in hot water for calling Hilary Rodham Clinton “a monster,” she could have wriggled out of it if only she had invoked her Red Sox fandom. (Note: Jose is a big fan of Dr. Power’s work. However, her decision to call her book about genocide “A Problem From Hell” made it impossible, even callous for Jose to use the title for his book about managing the 1997 Red Sox bullpen. It would have been called “A Problem From Hell: The Red Sox in the Age of Slocumb and Trlicek”.)
If Jose had been doing crisis communications for the Obama campaign, he would have urged Dr. Power to recontextualize the statement rather than disavow it. Her statement should have been
When I called Senator Clinton a “monster” I did not mean that she is a terrible person who would stoop to any level to get elected, and I regret that she viewed it that way. As you know, I am a Red Sox fan, and thus view the term “monster” as a reference to Fenway Park’s famous left field wall. What I meant to communicate when I called Senator Clinton a “monster” is that she is far too green, looks more imposing than she actually is, is gradually being sold to corporate interests and is confusing to the Japanese.
Similarly, Jose is certain that former Congresswoman and Clinton advisor Geraldine Ferraro could have explained away her comment that Senator Obama is “lucky” to be black. All she needed to do was to clarify that Obama was “lucky” in the same sense that Jackie Robinson was “lucky” because his skin color won him the first baseman’s job on the 1947 Dodgers vastly more experienced Ed Stevens.
Of course, the analogy is not perfect, as Ed Stevens never claimed marriage to long time Dodgers first baseman Dolph Camili as his primary experience.
For KEY 3, a look at what the Japan trip means to the WORLD CHAMPION RED SOX, visit http://keystothegame.blogspot.com
It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.
1. There is a tendency on these days of pomp and pageantry for self-important scribes to exaggerate the significance of human events. It is this inclination that leads inevitably to the endless march of picayune prose that marks any occasion of note. Even worse, it can lead to alliteration. From inaugurations, to opening days, to graduations, the spirit of the story is the same year after year and too often the words are as well.
Jose began to write this KEY last night with the declaration, thrice repeated “Thank God for baseball.” After getting stuck in a clumsy metaphor of desert and oasis, Jose turned to the opening day KEYS from last year in search of inspiration and there he found it.
“Thank God for Opening Day."
It was a striking rebuke to his sense of himself as an original, as a one of a kind. Simply replacing a comparison between himself and a heroin addict with a vague reference to Battlestar Galactica (note: so say we all), was not enough to sooth his soul. The introduction would have to go and with it Jose’s smug certainty of his own cleverness. This has all happened before, it will all happen again. (Note: There’s the Battlestar reference. See what Jose is reduced to when there is no baseball on—James Edward Olmos. Not good.)
Now into his fifth year of writing, Jose is as much a hack as any beat writer or world-weary columnist. He is just as prone to tired gimmicks and weary metaphors.
And does the Red Sox historic trek to Japan provide relief? Only in the sense that Ken Ryan provided relief in 1995. Rather, the significance of the occasion simultaneously raises the stakes and opens new, trap doors of cliché and ponderousness.
The Red Sox are in Japan? Why not write about sushi? Or sumo? Or bowing? Or karaoke? Or sex with space octopi?
Why wouldn’t Jose suggest that it is curious that 156 years after Commodore Matthew Perry opened Japan, Japan is opening the American League. (Note: With the obligatory quip that opening Japan and staring in Friends makes the Commodore versatile indeed.)
Why wouldn’t Jose imply that the Oakland A’s may already be operating under Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution, which expressly bans going on offense?
Why wouldn’t Jose quip that the reason Bartolo Colon didn’t go on the trip is that he heard the country is run by The Diet?
Why indeed?
This is opening day of the baseball season. Today, the records are all 0-0. Today Kevin Cash is batting the same as David Ortiz. (Note: Check that, Kevin Cash actually starts the season batting -.162) Today, everyone is in first place. Today, everyone gets a fresh start. And that includes Jose. Maybe he’ll run out old stories and reuse obsolete nicknames because this is spring training and everything old is new again… except for Curt Euro… and Tim Wakefield…and Mike Lowell… and… well, Ellsbury’s new.
2. In the absence of baseball for the last few months, Jose has been paying attention to politics. On the one hand, this is a bad thing, because it turns out, Jose hates you. Your beliefs are wrong, your candidate’s tactics are vile and if your champion is elected (s)he will most likely destroy America, except for Florida, which even in the absence of 49 other states would still somehow get a massive federal bailout.
On the other hand, it is a good thing, because it has convinced Jose that there is a baseball related excuse for pretty much every gaff made on the campaign trail with the exception of Gerald Ford’s 1976 claim that Poland was not under Soviet domination. The only baseball-related explanation for that would be if he took a fastball in the ear sometime during the campaign.
Consider one recent example. When Dr. Samantha Power, an Obama foreign policy advisor got in hot water for calling Hilary Rodham Clinton “a monster,” she could have wriggled out of it if only she had invoked her Red Sox fandom. (Note: Jose is a big fan of Dr. Power’s work. However, her decision to call her book about genocide “A Problem From Hell” made it impossible, even callous for Jose to use the title for his book about managing the 1997 Red Sox bullpen. It would have been called “A Problem From Hell: The Red Sox in the Age of Slocumb and Trlicek”.)
If Jose had been doing crisis communications for the Obama campaign, he would have urged Dr. Power to recontextualize the statement rather than disavow it. Her statement should have been
When I called Senator Clinton a “monster” I did not mean that she is a terrible person who would stoop to any level to get elected, and I regret that she viewed it that way. As you know, I am a Red Sox fan, and thus view the term “monster” as a reference to Fenway Park’s famous left field wall. What I meant to communicate when I called Senator Clinton a “monster” is that she is far too green, looks more imposing than she actually is, is gradually being sold to corporate interests and is confusing to the Japanese.
Similarly, Jose is certain that former Congresswoman and Clinton advisor Geraldine Ferraro could have explained away her comment that Senator Obama is “lucky” to be black. All she needed to do was to clarify that Obama was “lucky” in the same sense that Jackie Robinson was “lucky” because his skin color won him the first baseman’s job on the 1947 Dodgers vastly more experienced Ed Stevens.
Of course, the analogy is not perfect, as Ed Stevens never claimed marriage to long time Dodgers first baseman Dolph Camili as his primary experience.
For KEY 3, a look at what the Japan trip means to the WORLD CHAMPION RED SOX, visit http://keystothegame.blogspot.com
#9
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- 2,737 posts
Rules Red Sox Nation with an Iron Fist
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:18 PM
Thanks, sleepy head.I can rest well tonight.
Let the defense commence.
It is so ON!
Let the defense commence.
It is so ON!
#10
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- 1,794 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:24 PM
That was a long 5 months...GO SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
edit: what day is it?
edit: what day is it?
Edited by Guapos Toenails, 24 March 2008 - 06:25 PM.
#11
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- 2,014 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:24 PM
ON!
A great honor for Dice-K and the olde town team.
Japanese-style breakfast with the Sox tomorrow!
A great honor for Dice-K and the olde town team.
Japanese-style breakfast with the Sox tomorrow!
#12
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- 5,888 posts
A New Frontier butt boy
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:26 PM
Jesus, G38 and Jose. Happy spring!
#13
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- 662 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:27 PM
ON!
A great honor for Dice-K and the olde town team.
Japanese-style breakfast with the Sox tomorrow!
I might have to have a little late night Sushi and Asahi Super Dry here on the West Coast.
First page of the first game thread of the year. Is there anything better? Maybe a win...
Let's Go Red Sox!
#15
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- 1,595 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:29 PM
Baseball, The Red Sox, and Jose's keys.......life is good !!
#16
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- 6,905 posts
directly related to Marilyn Monroe
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:31 PM
I'll summarize in this paragraph a story I've said at least once each on SoSH and Prip. My brother, a Met fan, got married on October 16, 1999. If that date looks familiar to you, it's because it was during the "Where is Roger?" game. Even though he has reminded me that he missed a Mets playoff game that day, I haven't let him live it down since then that he didn't think of the consequences of having his wedding day and his anniversaries in the middle of October during potential baseball playoff games.
Learning from this, of course I did what I could to make sure I wasn't going to get married on a date when there could be a significant sports conflict for the wedding day or an anniversary. I got married on March 25, 2007. I figured the only potential sports conflict could be a day during March Madness. No big deal.
Oops.
Learning from this, of course I did what I could to make sure I wasn't going to get married on a date when there could be a significant sports conflict for the wedding day or an anniversary. I got married on March 25, 2007. I figured the only potential sports conflict could be a day during March Madness. No big deal.
Oops.
Edited by sfip, 24 March 2008 - 07:14 PM.
#18
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- 18,726 posts
foulkiavelli
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:40 PM
Jesus Christ it's been way too long
I'm heading to my friends house with a box of coffee at 5am tomorrow and most of my family thinks that I'm insane for taking a vacation day for a baseball game....but I really don't care.
DiceK is going to dazzle tomorrow
I'm heading to my friends house with a box of coffee at 5am tomorrow and most of my family thinks that I'm insane for taking a vacation day for a baseball game....but I really don't care.
DiceK is going to dazzle tomorrow
#19
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- 11,136 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:44 PM
Let's add a 3rd picture to this amazing photo gallery.
ON!!!
#20
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- 4,851 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:45 PM
Honk if you love opening day!!!!
Good goose, now...KILL!!!
#22
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- 3,348 posts
ERA=(ER/IP)*9
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:49 PM
3/25/08--Same (Expletive), Different Year
It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.
I never quite realize just how much I missed baseball until I read the first KEYS of the season. Suddenly, everything seems new.
#23
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- 16,824 posts
Vacationland
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:56 PM
It's on like CHB to bad hair. Dice goes 7, 1R, 8Ks Curts Pitch Boston is out 1800 on opening day!
再度私のゲームの糸を盗んだ。少なくとも私は今日重量を量るために私に作った.
#24
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- 8,517 posts
stupidity monitor
Posted 24 March 2008 - 06:59 PM
Once again the conquering hero! GO RED SOX!
#26
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Vacationland
Posted 24 March 2008 - 07:05 PM
I never quite realize just how much I missed baseball until I read the first KEYS of the season. Suddenly, everything seems new.
それはJose Melendez がヘルペスの文学的な等量であるという知られていた事実である。
#27
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- 3,348 posts
ERA=(ER/IP)*9
Posted 24 March 2008 - 07:28 PM
それはJose Melendez がヘルペスの文学的な等量であるという知られていた事実である。
According to babelfish: "It is the fact where as for that that Jose Melendez is the literature equal amount of herpes, you say and is known."
Sounds to me like someone is cranky over his thunder being stolen... maybe we should settle this with a steel cage deathmatch between G38 and TRicky?
#28
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- 2,285 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 07:34 PM
The quest for the 3rd title in 5 years begins. Lets get it on.
#29
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- 1,379 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 07:39 PM
Huzzah! Baseball is awake again! I never set my alarm but tomorrow is an exception.
#30
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- 8,859 posts
will you be my friend?
Posted 24 March 2008 - 07:44 PM
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? Repeat.
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? REPEAT
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
The Red Sox won the World Series in 2007. What did they do next year? REPEAT!
#31
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- 558 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 07:58 PM
Schill, I hope you're ready to do this for three weeks.
#33
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- 1,408 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 08:19 PM
This is going to a fun season. That is all. It was about 30 degrees outside today, and all I could think all day was that tomorrow, summer starts. Awesome.
Good luck to both of you, we're all counting on you.
Good luck to both of you, we're all counting on you.
#36
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Vacationland
Posted 24 March 2008 - 08:26 PM
According to babelfish: "It is the fact where as for that that Jose Melendez is the literature equal amount of herpes, you say and is known."
Sounds to me like someone is cranky over his thunder being stolen... maybe we should settle this with a steel cage deathmatch between G38 and TRicky?
これは無効な超過重量とは全く関係ない。Jose 及び私は性的に送信された病気の参照の長い歴史を有する。、猿の強姦の子供理解しない。
Edited by TomRicardo, 24 March 2008 - 08:28 PM.
#37
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- 3,348 posts
ERA=(ER/IP)*9
Posted 24 March 2008 - 08:28 PM
これは無効な超過重量とは全く関係ない。Jose 及び私は陰茎の参照の病気の長い歴史を有する。、猿の強姦の子供理解しない。
This just might be brilliance... I'm not quite sure.
#38
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- 14,072 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 24 March 2008 - 08:33 PM
It's like I'm 7 years old again on Christmas eve just counting down the hours. I might have trouble sleeping but this time I won't wet my bed. Maybe..
#40
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- 5,574 posts
Monbo's BFF
Posted 24 March 2008 - 08:51 PM
I love the idea of baseball in the morning.
God help me, I do love it so.
God help me, I do love it so.
#42
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- 7,891 posts
2% milkshakes
Posted 24 March 2008 - 08:59 PM
i got a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for tomorrow morning and I plan to eat them all before the game is over. I am ON those donuts, bitches.
#43
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- 752 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 09:02 PM
Looking forward to watching games from Japan instead of idiots like Butch Stearns from Japan.
Play Ball, already!
Play Ball, already!
#45
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- 1,259 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 09:14 PM
TR様、これは無効な超過重量とは全く関係ない。Jose 及び私は性的に送信された病気の参照の長い歴史を有する。、猿の強姦の子供理解しない。
気にしないでください。怒りパンダの力はみんな分っていますから。
松坂選手、
がんばれ！
#46
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- 11,136 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 24 March 2008 - 09:28 PM
I might stay up all night. Who wants eggs and Bud Light?
#47
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- 3,851 posts
call me Chester
Posted 24 March 2008 - 09:31 PM
I'll be up at 3am. I guess this is the one scenario that being on the west coast sucks for sports. Thankfully its only two games...Go Sox!
#48
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- 495 posts
Posted 24 March 2008 - 09:31 PM
I have no knowledge of the japanese that is upon the game thread pages,but I do know this.
IT IS ON!
1 OF 162
Do It!
IT IS ON!
1 OF 162
Do It!
#50
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- 6,600 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 24 March 2008 - 09:50 PM
Excellent.
Early to bed, early to rise, early to get the AL East lead.
Early to bed, early to rise, early to get the AL East lead.
