773 replies to this topic

[GlenMorangie]

These Orioles have now given up 30 runs in one game, and have been no hit in another. In short, they suck.

Daniel Cabrera, however, is on another level of suck.

He lives at the corner of Suck & Suck. His pet mice are named Cesar and Crespo. His 60GB i-Pod is full of nothing but Goo-Goo Dolls, James Blunt, and Richard Marx. He has a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on the small of his back. He wears Oakley Razor Blades (my bad- that's Millar). He bet $10,000 on Michigan yesterday. Everything about him oozes suck. Everything he touches turns to suck.

In stark contrast is I didn't know that Jon Lester's name does not contain an H, who is as tough a bastard as they come. He will not fuck around, for this is September baseball and these Red Sox demand total victory. How does this gang of pussies from Baltimore expect to beat a man who wipes his ass with this:

[Kitchkinet]

That's really disgusting.

I approve of this thread start. (This smiley is pasted in from elsewhere, we need to add it because it is made of Win and God, and because Clay Buchholz says so.)

EDIT: I wonder if Ieshan got to score with his girlfriend last night/this morning...

Edited by Kitchkinet, 02 September 2007 - 09:35 AM.

[Sille Skrub]

He lives at the corner of Suck & Suck. His pet mice are named Cesar and Crespo. His 60GB i-Pod is full of nothing but Goo-Goo Dolls, James Blunt, and Richard Marx. He has a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on the small of his back. He wears Oakley Razor Blades (my bad- that's Millar). He bet $10,000 on Michigan yesterday. Everything about him oozes suck. Everything he touches turns to suck.

In stark contrast is John Lester, who is as tough a bastard as they come. He will not fuck around, for this is September baseball and these Red Sox demand total victory. How does this gang of pussies from Baltimore expect to beat a man who wipes his ass with this:

Well done, sir. Very well done.

[Bellhorn]

Career no-hitters:

Buchholz - 1
Fat Billy - 0

That was the first thought in my head as I woke up this morning. Nice way to start the day.

Today, Lester is out to remind Red Sox nation that he's no slouch of a pitching prospect either. I expect nothing less than total domination on both sides of the ball.

WIN!!!!!

[P'tucket, rhymes with...]

These Orioles have now given up 30 runs in one game, and have been no hit in another. In short, they suck.

Daniel Cabrera, however, is on another level of suck.

He lives at the corner of Suck & Suck. His pet mice are named Cesar and Crespo. His 60GB i-Pod is full of nothing but Goo-Goo Dolls, James Blunt, and Richard Marx. He has a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on the small of his back. He wears Oakley Razor Blades (my bad- that's Millar). He bet $10,000 on Michigan yesterday. Everything about him oozes suck. Everything he touches turns to suck.

In stark contrast is I didn't know that Jon Lester's name does not contain an H, who is as tough a bastard as they come. He will not fuck around, for this is September baseball and these Red Sox demand total victory. How does this gang of pussies from Baltimore expect to beat a man who wipes his ass with this:

At the risk of acting prematurely and stepping on CoRP's toes, you, sir, win at the internets.

OTOH, I hope the fellow who dreamed up that image has found the proper medications.

Today Lester shows Buch that he will not be easily shown up by some fresh-faced rookie whose closest brush with a medical crisis is a pimple before a big date.

[Kitchkinet]

At the risk of acting prematurely and stepping on CoRP's toes, you, sir, win at the internets.

Actually those are my toes you're stepping on.

OTOH, I hope the fellow who dreamed up that image has found the proper medications.

Today Lester shows Buch that he will not be easily shown up by some fresh-faced rookie whose closest brush with a medical crisis is a pimple before a big date.

The only way he could do that is if he pitched a perfect game. Just...

WIN!!!

EDIT: Oh yeah, Clay never had a date before. He hasn't even begun to notice women yet. ^_^

Edited by Kitchkinet, 02 September 2007 - 09:42 AM.

[Al Zarilla]

Daniel Cabrera, however, is on another level of suck.

He lives at the corner of Suck & Suck. His pet mice are named Cesar and Crespo. His 60GB i-Pod is full of nothing but Goo-Goo Dolls, James Blunt, and Richard Marx. He has a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on the small of his back. He wears Oakley Razor Blades (my bad- that's Millar). He bet $10,000 on Michigan yesterday. Everything about him oozes suck. Everything he touches turns to suck.

The most pschizophrenic pitcher in the majors is what he is, but the Red Sox usually bring out the one you describe.

[PrimusSucks626]

My cousin is singing the National Anthem at Fenway today.

If that's not good I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery, I don't know what is.

[Blue Monkey]

K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stoopid. Bucky did yesterday and look what he did. Time for our other young gun to follow suit!







It's not perfect but you get the point. Just fucking win!

Edited by Blue Monkey, 02 September 2007 - 10:39 AM.

[hittery]

Having missed the game last night for a variety of really stupid (and some not so stupid, like the family honoring the code of not calling each other during a no-hitter) reasons, I expect -- no, DEMAND -- a performance by Lester the Molester at LEAST as awe-inspiring and glorious as that of the 12-year-old that is currently wearing a Red Sox performance.

And, may I also say, congratulations to Seth Mnookin on his nuptials -- thanks to the New York Times weddings page, we all know what you look like now. May your newfound marital bliss buoyantly carry the Red Sox into late-October victory!

[Dim13]

Lineups per the Herald:

Red Sox:

2B - Pedroia
SS - Cora
DH - Ortiz
3B - Lowell
RF - Drew
1B - Youkilis
LF - Moss
CF - Ellsbury
C - Cash

Orioles:

Who the fuck cares?

[Kitchkinet]

And, may I also say, congratulations to Seth Mnookin on his nuptials -- thanks to the New York Times weddings page, we all know what you look like now. May your newfound marital bliss buoyantly carry the Red Sox into late-October victory!

Anyone care to wager on their first child being born next June?

Edited by Kitchkinet, 02 September 2007 - 11:21 AM.

[P'tucket, rhymes with...]

K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stoopid. Bucky did yesterday and look what he did. Time for our other young gun to follow suit!







It's not perfect but you get the point. Just fucking win!

Take a crap in their eye and make them cry?

What do I win?

Sorry, K.

[martybarrettoverdrive]

Lineups per the Herald:

Red Sox:

2B - Pedroia
SS - Cora
DH - Ortiz
3B - Lowell
RF - Drew
1B - Youkilis
LF - Moss
CF - Ellsbury
C - Cash

Orioles:

Who the fuck cares?

Cora, Moss, Ellsbury AND Cash? Did they just pass a new rule where no-hitters count for 10 wins and the Sox have already locked up the division?

[neil]

I'm just going to post what I posted yesterday. It seemed to help.

I want to see two things today:

1. Tina in a cleavage showing outfit

2. Sox crush the O's, and TB crush the MFY's

[Dim13]

Cora, Moss, Ellsbury AND Cash? Did they just pass a new rule where no-hitters count for 10 wins and the Sox have already locked up the division?

The only reason I can see Cora in there is because he owns Cabrera. The others have me shaking my head too.

[neil]

I have no problem with Ellsbury in the lineup. Cash and Moss is a bit of a shitter, but Cora hitting 2nd? Thats just messed up.

[njingles3]

Yeesh, why Cora at the top of the order? Make me love that decision Genius. There might be a time when Tito needs to say fuck it and throw the best lineup out there anyways - I hope he's prepared to do it.

[patinorange]

Lineups per the Herald:

Red Sox:

2B - Pedroia
SS - Cora
DH - Ortiz
3B - Lowell
RF - Drew
1B - Youkilis
LF - Moss
CF - Ellsbury
C - Cash

Orioles:

Who the fuck cares?

As long as Cora is not replacing DP, I can live with it.

The more I look at that replay on that no hitter saving catch, the more incredible it is.

Yesterday is the kind of day that can propel this team to great things. That is why this is an important game, they don't want to lay an egg today.

[Mr. Negative]

Cora batting 2nd could be a Genius move suggested by Cora himself. Tito just went along with it because he knows that Cora's IQ is way higher than his own.

[njingles3]

I almost forgot. This will happen once again.



It is depressed gas pedal time!

[LESDL]

Is it asking too much to see Jon dominate today?

HELL NO!!!!

Kick some more O's ass, Mr. Lester!!!

[neil]

Gagne injured. Tender shoulder.

[Mr. Negative]

Breaking News I Would Like To Hear.....Tina Cervasio just said in the pregame report that, in honor of the HH No-Hitter, she will go Topless during her reports today!

[njingles3]

Gagne injured. Tender shoulder.

He has been used a lot lately.......

[Mr. Negative]

Should I be saying 'Yay! Jay Dee is in the lineup!' or 'Crap! Jay Dee is in the lineup!'.

Do I understand correctly that the word Cabrera in Spanish means 'Bad-tempered'?

Edited by Mr. Negative, 02 September 2007 - 12:38 PM.

[Kitchkinet]

We've been together for 3 years, but we're long distance right now. I'm in Iowa finishing a Ph.D. while she's in Boston finishing her M.D. So, sadly not.

The backstory on that whole thing btw: She called me two nights ago and was like, "WOW! This guy from the twins has a perfect game!" So I flipped on the TV, the first guy is a walk, and the next guy is a hit. And then I told her she was the curse.

So when she called *last night*, I had to act quickly.

Also: No Pressure Jon! Fuck throwing no hitters, you beat *CANCER*. The Orioles are weaker than CANCER. WIN.

Then who was the won who was late for a date due to the no-no?

[neil]

Lester had better be on his game today because I don't see our lineup scoring too many runs.

[hunter05]

NESN puts together the worst montages, the music is particularly terrible. This Buchholz montage is no exception.

[Blue Monkey]

T.B homers off the Horse Face Motherfucker.. 1-0!

[CTballfan]

Cora, Moss, Ellsbury AND Cash? Did they just pass a new rule where no-hitters count for 10 wins and the Sox have already locked up the division?

Meanwhile, Torre knows he's behind and needs to throttle Tampa Bay:
Damon LF
Jeter SS
Abreu RF
Rodriguez 3B
Matsui DH
Posada C
Cano 2B
Phillips 1B
Cabrera CF
(behind Pettitte, vs. Jason "7.44 ERA" Hammel)
Going for foot on the throat.
Pray that Hammel finds a way to channel Sonnenstein.

[njingles3]

NESN puts together the worst montages, the music is particularly terrible. This Buchholz montage is no exception.

Remember Pedro's montage?

Celine fucking Dion. Made my ears bleed.

[hunter05]

Cora is a kick in the balls, but he has good numbers against Cabrera. What are the Sox really losing with Moss, Ellsbury, and Cash? Varitek has not been hitting well lately, neither has Coco who is a bit banged up, and Hinske is pretty awful. I don't think its that big of a downgrade, it just looks like a JV line up.

[neil]

NESN puts together the worst montages, the music is particularly terrible. This Buchholz montage is no exception.

I'm loving it.

[hunter05]

Man, that hammer to get Markakis still sends chills down my spine. What a fucking pitch

[Muzzy Fielder]

Man, that hammer to get Markakis still sends chills down my spine. What a fucking pitch

In watching that montage, to my eyes, it still looks like Clay called off Tek's first sign on the last pitch. I don't know that it matters much, but I keep reading that Tek called the perfect pitch, but it looked like Clay wanted the curve there.

[UNCSoxFan5]

anyone's Sopcast working?

[Mr. Negative]

In watching that montage, to my eyes, it still looks like Clay called off Tek's first sign on the last pitch. I don't know that it matters much, but I keep reading that Tek called the perfect pitch, but it looked like Clay wanted the curve there.

That last pitch was a 77 mph curveball. I didn't notice Clay shake him off. If he did it was so subtle.

Hammel for TB has 6 K's thru 3 innings. Only 1-0 TB.

Edited by Mr. Negative, 02 September 2007 - 01:05 PM.

[Fishy1]

How do you follow up last night?

You don't. You just WIN.

[Fishy1]

That kid at catcher is like WTF are you, Cash? Where's Tek, or even SWHB?

EDIT: Stop butchering America, lady.

Edited by Fishy1, 02 September 2007 - 01:06 PM.

[hunter05]

Oof, she is way off key.

[LESDL]

Nice job with the Anthem

[Mr. Negative]

Oof, she is way off key.

I give her credit. That's tough to do. Pros screw that up often. Carl Lewis anyone? Not that he's a Pro singer.

[njingles3]

Time to stop posting for me. The I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery from last night must continue.

[Fishy1]

Bye bye, jingles.

[Savin Hillbilly]

Oof, she is way off key.

She sounded really, really nervous.