And so begins the Sox last regular season series at The Toilet that Ruth Built.

Will we get the Wake that had an ERA of less than 1 in his last two starts before going on the DL? Or will he show some rust?

As for Pettitte, will we see the guy the Sox slapped around the first time they faced him this year? Or will the pitcher who held Boston to one earned run on July 26 show up?

With the Sox down by 4.5 in the AL East, the Sox up 1.5 in the WC race and the MFYs down 5 from the Sox, these next 6 games against the Yankees and ChiSox could go a long way in the playoff races and whether the Yankees will be a factor, especially if either the Sox or Yankees sweep this first series.

Win the first one.

Sox haven't won a big regular season series against NY in ages. That needs to change tonight.

I think we all know that something significant will come out of these next three games. That is the magic that is NY/Boston. Forget about all the ESPN hype and BS, with all the history between these two, the Yankees will be either looking to play the part of the spoiler or maybe have delusions of their own wild card berth.

The Sox, however, cannot and will not let this happen.

Lets tear down this toilet before the wrecking ball has a chance to.

WIN TONIGHT.

Remember that 5-game sweep in '06?

Return the favor. Finish them.

Is Wakefield fully healthy? Or are they just throwing him out there because there is nothing left at the bottom of the barrel?

I get the sense that he's very close. But under normal circumstances, they'd give him at least one rehab start. Essentially, you're right. I would be shocked if Wake doesn't get bombed tonight.

Even if he pitches well Francona probably won't push him too hard. So I expect to see a lot of David Pauley tonight unfortunately.

This series is going to be brutal.

Wake don't need no dadgum rehab starts.

His knuckler will float, and tumble, and sting tonight for 5 innings.

Masterson will go 2

Oki 1

Paps 1

Sox win!

Dauber - Your lips to the baseball gods' ears!

No. And if you mention it again I will eat you like you were a babybel.

8/26/08--You Have No Idea

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1. Jose has finally answered one of the great imponderables of life.

Which one is it, you say?

What is the meaning of life? Nope.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Nah. Jose answered that back in 2006.

What Jose has answered is whether relief pitchers get really bored in the bullpen.

Last night, Jose attended his first Durham Bulls game, and had the good fortune in the late innings to sneak down one of the picnic areas where he got to chat with Evan Meek, who was at the time, the only member of the Indianapolis Indians (note: not affiliated with the Cleveland Indians, Cherokee Indians or sub continental Indians) bullpen who spoke English. Meek, a pudgy fireballer, who has been unimpressive in his 13 innings in The Show, turned out to be fairly desperate for someone to talk to. As Meek lofted a high arc and drained his third wad of gum into a trash barrel ten feet away, Jose asked the only question he had ever really wanted to ask to a reliever pitcher: “Do you guys get really bored out here?”

“You have no idea,” the mournful reply slipped through weary lips below glassy eyes.

What Jose regrets now is that he didn’t offer any suggestions for how Meek and his colleagues could liven up the bullpen experience. Relievers, of course, have spend a century developing ways to amuse themselves, from spitting seeds competitively, to the Red Sox bullpen drum corps to David Cone’s unfortunate experiment in bullpen self-gratification. But perhaps, these fellows are deep in the system, too stultified by dreary repetition to come up with anything inventive.

Thus, Jose offers a few ideas.

• Memorize the Koran. When you memorize the Koran then you earn the title “Hafiz.” Jose would enjoy hearing the announcement, “Now pitching for the Red Sox… number 50… Hafiz Mike Timlin…Timlin.”
• Pursue the X prize for the 100-mile per gallon car. At $10 million, that’s still enough to motivate a major leaguer. Just ask Manny.
• Start a crystal meth lab. Not only is it profitable, the product will make the games go faster. Better still, amphetamines are part of baseball’s cultural heritage, so it’s kind of like a throw back thing.
• Plot a revolution in your native country. (Note: Americans, do not do this. Jose in no way advocates the overthrow of the U.S. government, unless U.S. stands for Upper Silesia, the government of which is crap.)
• If you plan on attacking employees with a machete in the future (note: see Urbina, Ugueth Urtain) prepare defense strategy.
• And of course, finally, what every reliever coming up through the minors should focus on is what his entrance music will be.

2. A Red Sox fan in Jose’s program revealed to Jose yesterday that her English-American Catholic brother named his son Kapler, in honor of Gabe Kapler, “The World’s Most Perfectly Sculpted Jew.”

At first Jose was going to write about how this had to have been the first goyish child on earth named after Gabe Kapler. But then Jose thought about it and realized, that this is probably the first child anywhere named after Kapler. The only people who would likely want to name their kid after him would be Jews, but Jews famously, do not name their children after living people. To do so, is extremely bad luck for the person from whom the name is taken. Which raises an important question: Why does Jose’s classmate’s brother want Gabe Kapler to die?

For KEY 3, thoughts on the SOx final trip to Yankee Stadium, visit http://keystothegame.blogspot.com/

Great keys Jose.

But what does it have to do with driving a stake into the heart of 2008 Yankees?

And what was "David Cone’s unfortunate experiment in bullpen self-gratification?"

For me, the great imponderable question heading into this last series at the toilet is "who will get credit for building the new house of the Yankees?"

Will it be called the house that Nady built? The house that Melky built? The house that Giambi built? The house that Ponson built? I could go on....

New York City's Taxpayers

David Cone

Wow, somehow I never heard about all this stuff:

"Although he continued to pitch well, Cone found it hard to duplicate his initial success. The Mets were a deteriorating team in the early 1990s and Cone managed just a 42-32 record in the three years following his breakthrough season. Off-the-field, problems would also take their toll. In March of 1992 Cone was hit by a double-whammy. First, he found himself linked to a rape scandal involving teammates Daryl Boston, Vince Coleman and Dwight Gooden. Although he was never under investigation, the incident was the second time in five months that a rape charge had surfaced with his name attached. (In September 1991 a woman accused Cone of raping her in a Philadelphia hotel room the night before his nineteen-strikeout game, but police found no basis for the charge.) At the same time, a separate scandal pushed Cone onto the front pages of the New York tabloids. Three women had filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Cone, claiming he exposed himself to them while he was in the bullpen during a 1989 game at Shea. The incident was the lowest and most embarrassing moment of his career."

All signs point to Wakefield getting shellacked today. Funny thing about Wakefield is every time I think he will get mauled, he pitches a gem. Usually when he runs off 2 or 3 good starts and I start expecting him to dominate..he gets his ass handed to him. Given these trends, I expect him to give us a very good 5 or 6 innings tonight.

Any of you WEEI listeners hear anything about Drew or Casey? God help me if Cora starts again tonight.

YANKEES (70-60)
Damon CF
Jeter SS
Abreu RF
Rodriguez 3B
Giambi 1B
Nady LF
Matsui DH
Cano 2B
Molina C
Pettitte LHP

RED SOX (75-55)
Ellsbury RF
Pedroia 2B
Ortiz DH
Youkilis 3B
Bay LF
Lowrie SS
Crisp CF
Bailey 1B
Cash C
Wakefield RHP


Enjoy your free outs NY!

That 6-9 is shaky at best. We better be scoring a ton of runs tonight.

Shaky at best?

It's fucking awful.

Ellsbury leading off is no prize either. Hope Wake is on his game tonight.

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ. Maybe I'll watch Mark Warner talk to some Democrats in Denver. Yikes.

No word on Drew to the DL that I can find, and I would guess Bailey means Casey's still not ready. So our bench is... Tek and the SuperGenius? That's faaaaaaaaaaaaantastic.

dru has been Dl'd... Joe Thurston up (!??%%!)

I'm not sure it's smart to play Bailey over Cora vs AP. Yugh.

Still, batting righty makes Coco good (.825 ops). And Tek too (817 ops). So maybe it's not so bad... I am confident that Pettitte's reverse split won't get them.

I can't wait until Bonds gets here.

Too many injuries to deal with. How the hell are we supposed to compete without Lowell, Casey, Drew and Beckett? Not good at all.

Argh

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/reds...as/extra_bases/


Oh hi Hank!

If the Yankees don't take 2 of 3 this week, they should be contracted.

And as critical sweeps go, the Yankees are staring at one and have to be salivating...which probably means they will choke the chance away.

The anti-Red Sox media strikes again! But seriously, the lack of word concerning Beckett's arm is troubling.

Cora wasn't available to DH?

Sometimes it's really hard not to believe that Tito doesn't hate Sean Casey.

Where's Andy Sheets?

Oh for the days of Mike Benjamin and Scott Hatteberg leading off.

Who needs a bat like Manny Ramirez? This lineup R-O-C-K ROCKS!

And... that is going to be the final mention of Manny Ramirez in this thread or any other thread talking about possible hitting additions. All other mentions will be deleted.

Jerry Adair Lives!

Just wait till the pining for Brandon Moss starts. That'll be fun.

Please win this freaking game.

That is all.

Go Sox!

Make them cry.

I work in midtown Manhattan, close to a bunch of hotels.

There are a lot of geared-up Sox fans here headed up to the Toilet. I talked to a few of them and morale is high.

FWIW.

It's finally time for Ortiz to start carrying the offense.
Maybe.
I hope.
Please?

I bet we have his career 0-2 against AP for Cora riding the pine.

Still I'm not looking forward to seeing Jeff Bailey pwned by Camel Nose.

I just received my beautiful David Ortiz portrait crafted by SoSH's AllentedMrRipley (via SoSH ALS auction). This is an omen. I just know it. I plan on placing it in a place of importance and laying beautiful flowers in front of it.

That should work.

I hope

God, please let it work.

Release Casey and get us someone who can fucking play.

He's pitching the 8th inning tonight

This is the perfect opportunity for the Yankees to make their season by ruining ours...right?

Pedroia and Youkilis have to be huge in this series unless some of the other guys step it up.

Why are you guys so nervous.

We have the IL MVP starting for us at 1st Base tonight. Get ready to put a big W in the books.

30 minutes until first pitch and Wakefield isn't even on the roster yet. WTF.

NESN just said Wakefield was activated and Chris Smith sent down.

I are confused

Okay, then whose spot did Thurston take?

FWIW, the Globe reported that Smith was sent down for Thurston.

Nevermind, you are correct. I misheard that one.

On this day in 2004, Boston won its game against Detroit, making it 9 wins of the previous 10 and cutting the New York Yankees' AL East lead from 10½ to 5½ games. They also then led Anaheim by a half-game in the wild-card race. Who knew what was possible then, when similarly placed? KICK ASS guys, and go on a 9 of 10 game tear. The MFYs are down . . . CASTRATE . . .DESIMATE . . . ANNIHILATE, and make sure they stay down for good.

GO SOX - WIN TODAY!