I haven't shit in about 5 hours. I had to drop my wife off at the airport today. She's flying back to Massachusetts to be with her mom as she undergoes her breast cancer surgery. On the way home from the airport, I came within .5 seconds of shitting my pants. I had to pull off the highway into a Sunoco, buttcheeksclenchedtight waddle to the bathroom, realize the bathroom requires a key, buttcheeksclenchedtight waddle back to the register - ask the nice young lady for a key with sweat and tears visibly streaming down my face, then buttcheeksclenchedtight SPRINT to the bathroom, barely getting my pants and underwear down before exploding into the toilet. All this is still better than being an Oilers fan, though.