Dan Shaughnessy: Taking a dump in your mouth one column at a time

mandro ramtinez

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 24, 2006
1,612
Boston, MA
Doing his best to appear on Philly sports talk radio.

Like F and M, he is a Trumpian liar-troller. But he knows the tomato can narrative needs to be retired for this game. It’s not a remotely plausible description of the Eagles.
Shank was on Kiss 108 this morning (I recognize that I just admitted to listening to Matty in the Morning) and called Philly another in the Patriots' line of tomato can opponents. Not sure whether he would continue that line if Philly radio comes calling, however.
 

dcmissle

Deflatigator
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Aug 4, 2005
28,269
Shank was on Kiss 108 this morning (I recognize that I just admitted to listening to Matty in the Morning) and called Philly another in the Patriots' line of tomato can opponents. Not sure whether he would continue that line if Philly radio comes calling, however.
Then he’s not even trying to do sports anymore. This is firmly in the realm of professional wrestling.
 

ifmanis5

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 29, 2007
63,659
Rotten Apple
Does Dan really think the Jags were a Tomato Can? That defense was legit and they played as well as just about any other legit playoff team you'll see.
 

tims4wins

PN23's replacement
SoSH Member
Jul 15, 2005
36,920
Hingham, MA
Does Dan really think the Jags were a Tomato Can? That defense was legit and they played as well as just about any other legit playoff team you'll see.
I mean, they beat the Steelers - in Pittsburgh - TWICE. There is nothing fluky about that. They were very similar to the 2010 Jets, who were also not a tomato can, as they beat Peyton and Brady in back to back road playoff games. They were tied for 3rd in point differential in the entire league.
 

Dotrat

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jul 11, 2002
2,135
Morris County NJ
The fact that anyone wastes any time on what he says or writes astounds me. I'm going on 10 years ignoring all things shank, and my quality of life has improved each and every year.
I'm happy to say that I've read fewer than five Shank columns in 25 years, though some of these years admittedly fall into the pre-Internet period after I left Boston (1990-1998-ish).

I just don't see the point in wasting precious time on a guy whose love of sports seems to have died almost 30 years ago. He brings no joy, humor, or insight to my experience as a fan. His work is worthless.

In fact, he's the tomato can compared to both his betters at the Globe--the guys from the Glory Days of Ryan, Gammons, McDonough, et al.--or the funnier, more engaging, and/or more analytically inclined writers who came after him, such as Jackie MacMullan, Tom Curran, Mike Tanier, Aaron Schatz, Sally Jenkins, Kevin Curtis, Alex Spier, etc.
 

JimD

Member
SoSH Member
Nov 29, 2001
8,672
The tomato can narrative boils down to 'Tom Brady vs. Nick Foles ... amirite?'. Shank is hardly the only media troll around so it isn't going anywhere.
 

Humphrey

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 3, 2010
3,142
I'm happy to say that I've read fewer than five Shank columns in 25 years, though some of these years admittedly fall into the pre-Internet period after I left Boston (1990-1998-ish).

I just don't see the point in wasting precious time on a guy whose love of sports seems to have died almost 30 years ago. He brings no joy, humor, or insight to my experience as a fan. His work is worthless.

In fact, he's the tomato can compared to both his betters at the Globe--the guys from the Glory Days of Ryan, Gammons, McDonough, et al.--or the funnier, more engaging, and/or more analytically inclined writers who came after him, such as Jackie MacMullan, Tom Curran, Mike Tanier, Aaron Schatz, Sally Jenkins, Kevin Curtis, Alex Spier, etc.
He should stay away from pro sports entirely (or at least the local teams) and there would be stuff of his worth reading. He's basically stuck in the late 80s as you said, the Sox will ultimately blow it, the Bruins fans are a bunch of hockey krishnas (copyright the even more out-of-date Eddie Andelman), the Pats are run by idiots and the Celts are a couple years past their prime.
 

Humphrey

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 3, 2010
3,142
He must have been sitting on the throne when he heard about the Martinez deal...could not have crapped upon it sooner if he tried.
 

Van Everyman

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 30, 2009
26,951
Newton
Speaking of thrones...

In an era of Greg Doyels and other pretenders to the throne, there are times when I sort of appreciate Shaughnessy’s trolling. Usually it’s when it doesn’t cut too deeply. And as I’ve noted, his work on Price last year was some kind of trolling masterclass.

The JDM signing was one of those times. Consider how this column includes so many of Dan’s Rules of Trolling:

Invoke the Bad Old Days. No matter how historic the success Boston has had in sports of late, it’s important we never forget where we came from, children. So here, Shank leads the column by comparing his reaction to this deal to when the Sox signed...Jack Clark. Why? There’s no reason – other than to remind us that Things Can Always Go Badly.

Rip Ownership. Forget all the evidence that this ownership group may be among the best in professional sports, leaders in the community, generous charitably and protectors of many great Fenway traditions. They are also Sensitive Image-Conscious Liars. This is Boston. Owners are always terrible – even when they empirically are not (and particularly when they are poor public speakers). So in this case they deserve to be killed for suggesting in a press conference that they liked the roster seven hours before they signed JDM – as if they were supposed to do otherwise.

Roll Out the Tomato Cans. A Shank classic. There is no better “I told you so” than to insist a move is a failure unless it results in runaway success. Here he says the JDM signing makes them clear favorites to win the division, despite all the evidence that shows the Yankees have, at best, even if not better odds. No pressure, JD.

Malign the Player. It wouldn’t be Boston if there weren’t daggers thrown at the players themselves – usually for avarice or misbehavior. Here, with little to run on, Shank goes subtle – cavalierly tossing in a reference to JDM being “on his fourth team” as if blossoming late in his career and having his team go into rebuild mode makes him some clubhouse cancer.

Enjoy it now, fellas. We aren’t likely to witness the likes of Our Shank again.
 

TheoShmeo

Skrub's sympathy case
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
12,890
Boston, NY
Two more idiocies from that column:

- Appeal to good guy status. Shank laments “Good Guy” Moreland having to sit part of the time now. Who the hell cares about him being a good guy in the context of the addition of a player like JDM.

- Panty Bunch about lying owners/GMs. The CHB routinely gets himself over a lather over a lack of candor from those he covers. This time it was over the Sox saying they were fine with the team as is. I guess he can’t see the potential downside in JWH or DD sayin a few days ago that the team was really deficient and that without JDM they were screwed. It’s all about the media.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,131
- Panty Bunch about lying owners/GMs. The CHB routinely gets himself over a lather over a lack of candor from those he covers. This time it was over the Sox saying they were fine with the team as is. I guess he can’t see the potential downside in JWH or DD sayin a few days ago that the team was really deficient and that without JDM they were screwed. It’s all about the media.
I've noticed a few new names in the Globe sports section. I wonder if that means the Globe wasn't fine with the sports section as is.
 

Van Everyman

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 30, 2009
26,951
Newton
If I had to guess, this is the narrative Shank is working towards:

1) JDM got hosed on the open market and forced to take a contract half the size his agent promised him.

2) Soon, a piece about the Sox raking him over the coals over medicals under the auspices of due diligence but really because of their own failings in this regard in recent years. As a result, he is now in the position of having to prove he isn’t damaged goods.

3) Then a note in spring training about how he isn’t playing the field where he’d prefer to play because the Sox won’t let him (alternative here is that JDM does play the field in ST and sucks and is portrayed by Shank as arrogant for being unhappy st being a DH).

4) At the first sign of underperformance, JDM will be wilting under the pressure of Boston, and should have just stayed in cushy Arizona where the biggest pressure is playing in front of John McCain and for nice guy Torey Lovullo.

5) More about his friendship with clubhouse poison and fellow wilter, David Price (who he is already dialing back the criticism of to make room for JD – can’t spread the bad vibes too thin).

6) Ergo, JDM is a sourpuss.
 

richgedman'sghost

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
May 13, 2006
1,868
ct
Hey tomorrow night the Globe is offering a meet and greet with it's baseball writers including CHB Carfardo, and Abraham. I am taking a collection of rotten tomato's to the gathering if anybody would like to chip in. Seriously though, is there any questions you would like to hear answered.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,131
Another pretty good column today about Kimbrell. Dan should just finish up spring training and then retire.
I think the common thread is that when there are interesting stories there, he's still really good at getting them told. But he rarely goes out and gets them anymore.
 

Humphrey

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 3, 2010
3,142
I pretty much refuse to read anything he writes where the topic is a Boston pro team. So, I may be wrong but today's headline infers that he's taking the Tomato Can argument to the Red Sox.
 

sueh1

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 16, 2004
1,221
This time, he’s ripping David Price, saying that his carpal tunnel is due to all his time playing video games (which he’s spoken about recently). That’s a new tactic even for him, but i don’t know enough about the topic to judge.
 

Red(s)HawksFan

Member
SoSH Member
Jan 23, 2009
20,595
Maine
This time, he’s ripping David Price, saying that his carpal tunnel is due to all his time playing video games (which he’s spoken about recently). That’s a new tactic even for him, but i don’t know enough about the topic to judge.
In this, Shank isn't alone. The video game connection is guesswork at best, but it has been a focus of most discussion since the news broke about the diagnosis.

I'm not giving him clicks by reading the column, but I assume that by "ripping" he's framing Price's video game playing as selfish or taking away from his focus on pitching while ignoring the fact that Price got into it after it was already a big thing among his teammates and that this particular game they're playing is highly popular across the league. And that none of the rest of his teammates or league-mates seem to be suffering from carpal tunnel as a result. So either Price is playing the game all wrong (poor controller technique or something) or the injury is unrelated to the game play.
 

CoffeeNerdness

Member
SoSH Member
Jun 6, 2012
8,694
I have zero doubt that Shaugnessy would gleefully pen a 'David Price is an aloof loner' article if Price didn't bond with his teammates over Fortnite.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

has fancy plans, and pants to match
Dope
SoSH Member
Apr 12, 2001
24,510
Curran brings up some really good points. I understand that Shaughnessy is a columnist and that's a different job than a reporter, but the CHB should do his own leg work and not rely solely on the information of others.

Having said that, if Curran is a client of Guerrero's, he may be a little biased. That seems weird to me. Like you work out with the guy, you like what he's doing for you, are you going to think twice about ripping him? I would. I think it's human nature to do that. There are a million personal trainers in the Boston area, I don't think Currna made a wise decision going to the guy who he has to cover.
 

Van Everyman

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 30, 2009
26,951
Newton
Is he a client? I thought that was just Shank’s way of saying that because Curran co-wrote Edelman’s book, he is somewhat compromised.
 

Koufax

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jul 15, 2005
5,930
He's a staunch defender. He's completely compromised on this issue.
 

shaggydog2000

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 5, 2007
11,468
Curran brings up some really good points. I understand that Shaughnessy is a columnist and that's a different job than a reporter, but the CHB should do his own leg work and not rely solely on the information of others.

Having said that, if Curran is a client of Guerrero's, he may be a little biased. That seems weird to me. Like you work out with the guy, you like what he's doing for you, are you going to think twice about ripping him? I would. I think it's human nature to do that. There are a million personal trainers in the Boston area, I don't think Currna made a wise decision going to the guy who he has to cover.
Guerrero is pretty cult leader sham-artist like. I don't trust the opinion of anybody who sees him about him or his methods.
 

Smiling Joe Hesketh

Throw Momma From the Train
Moderator
SoSH Member
May 20, 2003
35,675
Deep inside Muppet Labs
Curran went to Guerrero initially because he wanted to do a story on his methods, and Curran had a specific issue he wanted addressed and wanted to see how things worked at TB12.

Curran wasn't a client first and then did a story afterwards. He went there in the first place entirely to do a story. It's a distinction worth noting.
 

Red(s)HawksFan

Member
SoSH Member
Jan 23, 2009
20,595
Maine
Curran went to Guerrero initially because he wanted to do a story on his methods, and Curran had a specific issue he wanted addressed and wanted to see how things worked at TB12.

Curran wasn't a client first and then did a story afterwards. He went there in the first place entirely to do a story. It's a distinction worth noting.
It is. It's not like Curran is singing Guerrero's praises or bending over backward to defend the indefensible here. He's pointing out that Shaughnessy is satisfied to use second and third-hand knowledge, and his own troll-like biases, to concoct a story rather than take the initiative to seek his own answers.

Shaughnessy may be a columnist, but he started as a reporter. Regardless of Curran's affiliations, he's not wrong to suggest Shaughnessy is being intellectually lazy.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,131
It is. It's not like Curran is singing Guerrero's praises or bending over backward to defend the indefensible here. He's pointing out that Shaughnessy is satisfied to use second and third-hand knowledge, and his own troll-like biases, to concoct a story rather than take the initiative to seek his own answers.

Shaughnessy may be a columnist, but he started as a reporter. Regardless of Curran's affiliations, he's not wrong to suggest Shaughnessy is being intellectually lazy.
Shaughnessy is lazy. Write a letter to the editor suggesting that and he might call you at home.
 

shaggydog2000

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 5, 2007
11,468
It is. It's not like Curran is singing Guerrero's praises or bending over backward to defend the indefensible here. He's pointing out that Shaughnessy is satisfied to use second and third-hand knowledge, and his own troll-like biases, to concoct a story rather than take the initiative to seek his own answers.

Shaughnessy may be a columnist, but he started as a reporter. Regardless of Curran's affiliations, he's not wrong to suggest Shaughnessy is being intellectually lazy.
Shanks is incredibly intellectually lazy and a huge troll. Curran just isn't the best person to point that out in this case due to his conflict of interest.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

has fancy plans, and pants to match
Dope
SoSH Member
Apr 12, 2001
24,510
Shanks is incredibly intellectually lazy and a huge troll. Curran just isn't the best person to point that out in this case due to his conflict of interest.
This is 1000% true. The last time Shaughnessy did any solo research was probably in the early 1990s. But Tom Curran can't wag his finger at him considering he's practicing some dicey journalistic ethics too.

I mean financial reporters shouldn't be getting stock tips from the people they cover. Restaurant critics shouldn't accept free meals. If you're reviewing a movie, you probably shouldn't make a cameo. And you shouldn't gloss over Curran's questionable journalism (in this case) simply because you don't like Dan Shaughnessy.
 

dcmissle

Deflatigator
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Aug 4, 2005
28,269
This is 1000% true. The last time Shaughnessy did any solo research was probably in the early 1990s. But Tom Curran can't wag his finger at him considering he's practicing some dicey journalistic ethics too.

I mean financial reporters shouldn't be getting stock tips from the people they cover. Restaurant critics shouldn't accept free meals. If you're reviewing a movie, you probably shouldn't make a cameo. And you shouldn't gloss over Curran's questionable journalism (in this case) simply because you don't like Dan Shaughnessy.
Or because you really like Tom Curran, which I do. Guerrero should be off limits to Curran’s reporting until the tie is severed and a reasonable period passes.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,131
He seems to be especially insecure and thin skinned with athletes who are probably smarter than he is.
 

Humphrey

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 3, 2010
3,142
He's locked and loaded and ready to fire the second Price gives up a couple dingers. Either way I'm not reading his next column (nor did I read this one).
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
30,131
And if he loses a 1-0 nohitter because of a 4base error by an outfielder, it'll be karmic payback for the eckflap.
 

jose melendez

Earl of Acie
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Oct 23, 2003
30,902
Geneva, Switzerland
His piece today was vicious, but Price really was that bad.

Claiming Price is ducking the MFY seems unfair, but criticizing him for being awful seems well in bounds.
 

Humphrey

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 3, 2010
3,142
His piece today was vicious, but Price really was that bad.

Claiming Price is ducking the MFY seems unfair, but criticizing him for being awful seems well in bounds.
Yes, you can't (with apologies to Rick Pitino) stink and suck worse than Price did and he deserves flack for it.
OTOH, no game on July 1 when the teams are tied is that crucial to the Red Sox, nor is the start that crucial for Price. He could have pitched a shutout and still been hit hard in the upcoming postseason, and we'd be back to Square 1 (and Shank would get his pound of flesh then instead of now). .
 

TheoShmeo

Skrub's sympathy case
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
12,890
Boston, NY
Dan's crusade over the last few days is around BB's need to come clean and explain the Butler Decision. He wrote a column that appeared in today's Globe about it and tried vainly to get BB to bite at today's press conference.

I am among those Pats fans who remain upset about the Butler benching. I think, at bottom, it reduced their chances of winning the game materially.

That said, as I wrote to Dan in an e-mail today, anyone who has spent any time around Bill over the years knows that he is not going to explain himself while he is still the HC of the NEP. He is instead only going to look forward. Whether he really should tell us the Butler rationale or not, he simply is not going to do it. And oh by the way, however you view his conduct -- during the game, in the immediate aftermath or now -- the man has accomplished incredible things in Foxboro. His methods work, and fans care more about winning than transparency.

He replied that it's not him, thousands of fans have this issue and it's the first time there has been pushback from "fanboys."

Among other things, I pointed out that the disdain he has for his readers is palpable, if the ones pushing back are still fanboys, then everyone else must be worse, and that only a silly boy would expect anything different from Bill.

Like all causes Dan gets a hold of, we will be hearing about this for a while. Especially if the Pats start slow, as they sometimes do.